A non-update...

OK, so this is more of a non-update than an update because right now we're just in waiting mode to start our home-study which should be soon! But, It's been a while since I posted so I felt like I should at least let everyone know we're still here!

Let's see...what's new...

1) We completed an adoption class that was really informative regarding talking to your child about adoption and how they can talk to others about being adopted.  Here's our certificate from that...

2) We've decided to move!  We're excited about that!  In about 6 weeks, we're moving just over the river (for those of you familiar with the James River in Richmond) back to the side that feels more like home to us- I guess you'd call it the North Side. And, we're moving to a home that has a little more room so Abigail will have her own nursery that doesn't have to be shared with my desk! The pups will still have a backyard to run around in  and, the home is in an area that we feel more comfortable in- OK it's statistically safer then where we are currently :)

We still have plenty of money to save/raise for the adoption (about $17k) but we're trusting God will work that all out in His perfect timing.  We have what we need at this moment to move ahead with the home-study thanks to His goodness and so many of you who have generously donated and that is enough for us!

So, I guess that's all for now. Thanks for reading this post!  Please continue to keep us in your prayers!

Oh...Here are some stats I just got today from our adoption agency that I thought we're interesting.  I thought some of you might enjoy seeing it. (see below-just click on it to see it larger)

 Blessings and a Very Happy New Year to each of you!!!!

Here goes!!!!

Wow! OK... so two weeks after getting the paperwork, here we go!  The home study paperwork is complete (doctors appointments, fingerprints, and so much more!).  We're sending it out today and it will be delivered to the adoption agency tomorrow!  Now, we'll just be waiting to hear back on who our assigned social worker will be and when the home visits will be scheduled.  This is the biggest step yet!  Pretty exciting!!!

 

No morning sickness yet but the paper cuts are terrible :)

OK, so it's not THAT bad.  We've been working on home-study paperwork for the last week and we're almost there!  Once we go get our fingerprints done, one form notarized and our doctor's appointments completed which are scheduled for tomorrow, we'll be able to mail everything in so we can be assigned a social worker and get our home study appointment dates scheduled!!  This is one of the REALLY big steps so we're very excited!! Yay!!

 

Here's the certificate of completion from our training class which was another one of the required steps in the adoption process.  Like I said in a previous post, it was a great class!!

 

 

Post Adoption-Training Update

As you've probably already heard, Benson and I attended the 2-day adoption training class this past weekend.  It was great and filled with lots of practical as well as in-depth information.  There were various speakers including a birth mom who had put her children up for adoption as well as an adoptive family, an adoption lawyer, a nurse, etc.  It was put together wonderfully and even though at times it felt like information overload, everything we heard was information we needed to hear. 

Hearing from the birth mom was especially impactful and really makes you think about what it's like on her end.  Any birth mom who chooses adoption is an amazing, strong individual who is choosing life for her child and doing all she can to make sure they are raised in a home where they can have the best shot at life.  So many of the birth moms want to hear from the adoptive parents through letters and pictures so they can just know that their child is well taken care of.  We never want the birth mom who selects us to have to wonder if her child is doing well.  We want her to feel secure that she made the best decision. 

I could go on and on about the class.  There was just SO much and we are so thankful that we are working with an agency that takes such measures to make sure you are as prepared as you can be for adoption.  So, the class is complete. Now what?!?!

Thankfully, we were able to pick up our home-study packet at the class. It consists of a bunch of paperwork including physician reports, background checks, emergency plans, family history info and lots more!  We will start working on this and get it turned in as soon as we can get it all completed with our next payment of $2000. Then, we will be scheduled to start receiving a total of 4 visits from our social worker which will range from them taking a look at the home we live in to "interviews" discussing our family backgrounds and plenty more!  Let's just say...you can't go through this adoption process unless you're ready to be very transparent! We're cool with that.

They made it very clear that this is not a pass/fail assessment.  They are not looking for perfection but real people who are ready to open their home to a child and love and nurture the child to the best of their ability.  And, while we're filling out paperwork and getting physicals and finger print checks (yes, really), we'll still be working on the fund-raising. We still have a long ways to go but we are actually started now which is pretty exciting! We we're told that upon approval of the home study, the average national wait time currently for a child is 10 months (although it could be longer or shorter) so I'd say we're definitely closer than we've ever been.  Please continue to pray for us as we sort through all the paperwork of the home-study and start to look at possible grants to help with the additional funds needed.

On a fun note, we started to arrange Abigail's nursery this weekend which was pretty cool! I found this super cute colorful rug (below) that I love and can coordinate so much with all the colors in it. Yep, it's shag and super soft :)

The room will serve as a nursery/office since we live in a small house so I'm looking for ways to blend the two in a fun girly way for Abigail and Mommy!  I'll post some pics once we get it more together :)

The light that shines in the darkest moments....

So far our posts have been primarily about our progress in fundraising.  I decided that I wanted to share a more intimate side of the adoption process with those of you who care to read it and might like to have more of a connection with us through this journey. I feel that those of you who are so generously supporting us, deserve that!

I'm sure if anyone reading this post has gone through any phase of the adoption process, they will be able to relate to this entry.  Even when you are confident that God has lead you to do something (actually, maybe even more so when God has lead you to do something!) the thoughts of doubt start to come in.  For me, they sometimes look like this...

* What are you doing? This is so expensive...
* What if the mom changes her mind during the 10-day window or something else happens where she is taken back?
* You still have so far to go...
* Haven't you heard about how hard it is for the child to adjust?!?!
* What if the child has unknown medical problems that show up later?
* What if Abigail struggles with her identity and why she wasn't raised by her birth parents?
* What if she decides later she'd rather live with them?
* How much of a relationship are we comfortable having with the birth parents?
* What if we don't connect and bond like we should?
* What if I'm an awful mom?
* And...so on.........................

Yes, I've thought these thoughts!  The enemy wants to plant seeds of doubt!

The awesome thing is that even in the worst moments of doubt, the light shines; His light shines. He reminds us that He planted this desire in us in the first place. I'll never forget when I brought up the topic of adoption years ago, which completely surprised Benson that it was on my heart, and he immediately said he felt the same way.  He had the same thoughts about how great it would be to provide a loving home to a child that might not get that otherwise. Then, we found out that it cost $25,000!  Well, we didn't have or almost have that kind of money!  Still don't! Yet, we are still confident that God has lead us down this path and unless He completely closes the door on it, we are taking one step at a time until we have Abigail in our arms.

We could "what if" ourselves through the entire process. But, why?  God has it all taken care of anyway.  He already knows the end of the story.  And, whatever it is "we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28) That's all that matters!  He's working it all out.  It doesn't matter how long it takes. He's called us to this.  It doesn't matter about the doubts and struggles because they just draw us closer to Him.  They're actually a good thing because He says "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."(James 1: 2-4)

So, even though we're human with doubts and insecurities, we know who runs the show! We know it will all turn out according to His purposes. How do we know that?  Because, "The Lord will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever." (Psalm 138:8 ) and He says..."For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.(Jeremiah 29:11)"

Thanks for taking the time to read this and please continue to pray for us, our future daughter, her birth parents and the entire process. We pray that you are all abundantly blessed!

Love,
Heather & Benson

Moving right along...

Like I've said many times, we appreciate and celebrate EVERY donation that we receive- regardless of the amount  We received a donation last night which was the first one towards the 2nd leg of fundraising.  So, as you probably know, we have the $8,000 needed to get started and now we've started working toward the last $17k (See the "Total Adoption Goal" 2nd thermometer below and to the right).  We'll have to have these funds before the agency will start showing our profile to birth moms!  We are very grateful and this was great encouragement before our adoption class this weekend!

Adoption Training Class Time!

We'll be taking our adoption training class this coming weekend and writing check #2 ($650).  We're really excited about this step!  Please keep us in your prayers as we learn more of the nitty gritty details of the adoption process.  My hope is that it will be informative and encouraging without being too overwhelming.  Again, thank you for your prayers!

Here's the class Agenda!

Day 1

Registration

Devotion and Prayer, Introductions, Housekeeping,

Legal Process presented by local attorney

Biblical Parenting

Grief and Loss; The Journey

The Expectant Parents; Their Journey

The Hospital Dance & Levels of Openness

A Birthmother’s Story presented by a birth mother

Developing a Relationship with the Birth Family & level of openness

Day 2

Regroup; Questions; Comments

What Makes a Great Profile? Now What!?!

Attachment; Development; Talking to your child about adoption

Medical Perspectives on Adoption

An Adoptive Family’s Journey presented by an adoptive family

Perspectives from an Adult Adoptee

Post Placement, Supervision, Updates, Support/Resources

Wrap Up: Comments and Questions